Full 100 Reasons STAR TREK XI Sucks

The following is a revised chronological review/list of reasons to deplore
STAR TREK XI, starting from the beginning:

1.What the hell is wrong with the cameraman? Does he have epilepsy?
Why is EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN SHOT moving all over the place as if the
camera tripod was loose? Everything has to be moving moving moving around
all over the goddamn place...

2.The beginning of blue and red lens flares that give me a fucking headache,
and not only are there too many of them to be real, it begins to become this
sort of 'hey this is really real!' fake bullshit effect that is so fucking
irritating after awhile I am wondering if I am going to have seizures...

3.The overly-dramatic, fast moving beginning, had me practically laughing
at the ridiculous skinheads from outer space(Romulans) and their hyper-overly-
dramatic british accents...Even Kirk's Dad is a male model douchebag...
so this is the beginning of how Kirk is born eh, no, it is the beginning
of showing you how convenient every SINGLE GODDAMN EVENT is to make
the story move along...Music: Hyper, Over, Dramatic...this is so over the top
that William Shatner's 'over dramatic' acting is beginning to look like
oscar winning skill.

Little did I know that Kirk's dad was actually Commander Tucker...or at least his clone...







4.The Doctor on Dad's ship has CGI big-ass eyeballs which look really really stupid and
fake, and remind me of that stupid vampire movie that took place in Alaska
or whatever, 30 Days of Night...or something.

5.More fucking lens flares, this time on the bridge? What the fuck, I know
they're fake CGI lensflares, but Christ, cinematically, indoors?lensflares?
Its what we in the Industry call BAD PHOTOGRAPHY.


6.The beginning just pissed me off, because of how dramatic it all was, knowing
full well the rest of the movie is full of sex jokes, and very ridiculous scenes...
but alas, I want these fucking people to die already, have your goddamn baby
and die! Fucking TV acting, fucking TV CLOSEUPS!

7.NON STOP CLOSEUPS! What the hell is the cameraman blind too? Or did he
work too long on CSI?

8.Bam...Nokia phones...in the 23rd(or is it 22nd?) Century...let's not make this
too differnt from Star Trek...where everything was 'futuristic.'

9.Beastie Boys....little bastard asshole kid...thank God he's only it for a
few seconds...

10.YES the absolute staple of Star Trek: THE MATRIX SLOW MOTION JUMP! Out of a car, this kid is obviously Neo's little brother...

11.Robocop has a nice little fascist armband...all pointless, a chase scene
for no reason whatsoever, it comes from nowhere, and leads to nothing,
after this little-kid-kirk chase scene, (which you have seen in its
entirety in the trailer) that's it, no more little kid...and no reason
to even introduce him, other than to show what a little turd this NEW AND IMPROVED
Kaptin Kirk is...and how is it that Kirk can now drive? Fossil fuel in the future? Gas must be like $85.00 a gallon by then...

12.Why is the music still playing after the car has gone over the cliff, it
was established that little dick kirk was playing an MP3...

13.Where the fuck are these famous canyons of IOWA by the way?

14.Now little Spock...studying math, or taking a test, I have no idea,
all the math flashing on screen is in 'human' language...with the english
alphabet, x+y=z and even the periodic table is there in English? For a bunch
of aliens who hate humanity, they sure do like our language and math...

15.Ah, Meet Spock's Dad, a british vulcan who sounds an awful lot like
Spiderman's surrogate father...Cliff Robertson! Yes...Spock,
you have a destiny and all that shit....christ is this all there is?
Don't get me started on why Winona Ryder...."Your mom's a whore!" this will be a great audio sound byte from STAR TREK for years to come...





("Your mom's a thief!")
Live long and prosper...









16.Close-up-A-Thon...Jesus enough with the fucking close-ups already...

17.If it isn't another british Vulcan, wait, they're ALL FUCKING BRITISH! ITS
REDGE FROM MAX HEADROOM! If I see another fucking vulcan with another british
accent, I'm walkin...oh shit

18.We get a taste of some more 20th Century pop music, and its back to the shaky
cam, lens flares, inside the bar, where we meet, shaky cam, long-lens, fucking
zoomed in Kirk, dickhead bar-asshole extraordinaire...everything is on zoom,
everything is moving all the time, everything is fucking closeup...more fucking
lense flares...are we in Vegas?

19.Budweiser product placement...

20.Ah, Star Trek, always the family show, with sex jokes about farm animals...nice
touch fuckheads...I'm sure Gene Roddenberry is rolling in his grave about now...

21.The "Peacekeeping" Armada...as Pike refers to 'Starfleet.' I always knew Starfleet was supposed to be the United Nations...but hey, lets not be obvious about it...and what about the PRIME DIRECTIVE? Peacekeeping troops are synonymous with going against the "PRIME DIRECTIVE" meaning, the UN goes in to INTERVENE, isn't the PRIME DIRECTIVE ABOUT NON-INTERVENTION? ...meanwhile Kirk plays with a little Star Trek toy, which he must have pulled out of his ass, because he just got beat up in a bar, and now he's sitting at a table with Pike playing with it. Deleted scene? Does the bar give out free Star Trek toys? Eh....

22.Cameraman has arthiritis or something, he can't fucking hold the goddamn
camera still....are they aware of the "SteadyCam?"


23.Romulans are now skinheads from outer space...they're all bald dudes with bad nasty tattoos...either that or they're from Blade's (Snipes) street gang... Perhaps Romulans in the future become just as degenerate as we do, and eventually adopt both archaic tribalism as well as fascism, perhaps the may be the real point here, that we're all going to become like the Romulans in the future...neh...prob not...







24.Okay, Kirk likes to have sex with green aliens, yeah, is it necessary? No, but its another
opportunity to have some sex jokes and why not, after all, this is Star Trek isn't it?
you know what, fine, but the green paint job is just really poorly done,
what with all the CGI in this crappy movie, you'd think they could make it look well, realistic...it can be done...harkening back to NIGHTCRAWLER from the X-Men, man was that a great paint job or what, this chick looks like she's just come from Marti Gras...not Arcturus...even the 1960s green chicks were better looking, and their paint job was also better...which reminds me, the 1960s Spock wig was better looking than the one they use in this new movie, which looks to be made of plastic.


25.Why is Kirk such a juvenile asshole? He really is an unlikeable dick in this
movie...what the hell made them think that Shatner's overconfidence made him
an 'asshole?'

26.This Kirk is a pig, a jackass, an arrogant dumbass, and a disgusting dickwad,
did these people bother to watch the original Star Trek?

27.More fucking lens flares...on the Bridge

28.Checkov has a pretty fake and outlandish russian accent...

29.Kirk has been shot up with some kind of vaccine by McCoy...and he's running around with big inflated hands like a cartoon (I shit you not), because they're supposed to be 'swollen.' Only it looks really stupid, and why the fuck is this happening? Is this supposed to be funny?

30.An electrical storm in space! My God Bones, its ROMULANS! It has to be! Oh, for God's sake, I would have said, lookout, lens-flares! It must be J.J.ABRAMS! at this point, but really? It can only be romulans if there's an
electrical storm in space, because that's what happened when they killed his Dad at the beginning...but then, Kirk wasn't really there...well, he was there, but trapped inside a bad TV actor's fake rubber womb...

31.More fucking lens flares, more british Romulans...

32.More Lens flares...

33.Now within 4 minutes every original character gets an officer's position, conveniently as soon as people get killed, or are just apparently not competant enough...so there you have it, they're all there on the Enterprise, heading for Vulcan for a rescue mission...

34.Romulans attack, a bunch of phrenetic crap happens really fast, action which
is impossible to follow because of the shaky cam, and all the goddamn lens-flares,
and before you know it, Sulu whips out a sword from nowhere to fight Romulans
on a giant space drill thing that turns planets into black holes...

35.The guy in the red shirt dies fast, but who cares, I'm still trying to figure out how the hell planets turn into black holes, and how Kirk and his compadres didn't burn up in the planet's atmosphere went they went flying in their HALO suits...

36.Sulu has a fucking sword? Where did that come from?

37.At this point, I am gathering that I am supposed to be giddy with excitement and shout "FUCK YEAH" every time there's a stupid reference to the old Star Trek, but its really grating because it's like they keep saying, "REMEMBER YOU'RE WATCHING STAR TREK! THIS IS STAR TREK! DON'T FORGET, THIS IS A STARTREK MOVIE!

38.I failed to understand why the Romulans would put their 'transporter beam' jamming device on this rickety space drill, that hangs down from the space ship like a giant crane...(nor how it doesn't rip apart and burn up in the atmosphere, but as we find out at the end, 'logic isn't important.')

39.Too many fucking people are talking at the same time, all the time, I guess it goes along with the contantly shaking and panning camera...

40.How the hell do you create a black hole with a drill which somehow uses some sort of 'red matter' which is never explained, when we all know that Stars turn into black holes? Not planets?

41.Transporter beam is now some sort of TASMANIAN DEVIL swirly crap from Bugs Bunny, and whisks you off, and literally drops you off on the Transporter Pad like in Stargate when you jump too high into the Stargate Circle...more to come from Stargate in this movie by the way...

42.More damn lens flares, even in Vulcan caves...what the fuck, there aren't even any red or green light sources, is the camera broken?

43.Now I am noticing that Spock has some sort of british sounding upper class, Ivy League type accent which doesn't sound like Spock at all...now Spock is a prick too...

44.Who the fuck built that Romulan Spaceship anyway? Fucking blind people? There's puddles all over the place, the Romulans spend most of their time wading in 6 inch deep water, there's all these crags and ledges there for no practical reason...this is worse than George Lucas...

45.Dammit Man, I'm a doctor not a Physicist...and look I'm playing a Star Trek character who has to keep repeating lines from the old series to remind you of who the hell I'm supposed to be...

46.Now we spend 5 minutes discussing the time-space continuum, with meaningless jibberish which is nothing but references to things that have already happened, and make sure that the audience realizes that after listening to this nonsensical exposition, that we know that this is all an alternate reality now, well, this movie is, anyway...so now that it has turned to TOTAL SHIT, its okay, because its all a parallel reality.

47.Okay, Kirk gets kicked off the ship to a lonely ice world, he runs into a Wampa from Star Wars, which gets eaten or attacked, (shaky cam, and LENS FLARES...even though there's no fucking sun, in a windy snowy gray world, I couldn't tell) by some sort of giant sized mynoch looking T-Rex kind of a thing, and chases Kirk into a tunnel where he magically meets MISTER SPOCK!

48.Spock, now like 900 years old or something, (Nimoy that is) mind melds with Kirk to give us more retarded exposition, explaining everything we need to know about why the story in this movie sucks so bad, and this is really bad storytelling by the way...all these convenient moments...happening for no other reason than to move the turd of a story along...all the action that takes place is perhipheral, it really has nothing to do with the story...at all.

49.Wouldn't this ridiculous exposition have been better in some kind of Prologue? Ah...no because then there would be no stupid fucking movie at all.

50.Now, wouldn't you know it, it just so happens that SCOTTY is on this planet too! And he has himself a Jar Jar Binks alien sidekick...which is some sort of Ughnaut from Empire Strikes Back! Well the Scottish accent is pretty good, although it doesn't sound like the real Scotty...

51.Okay, so they figure out how to use the transporter, and Scotty gets beamed into a water tank... now we know from this scene that WILLY WONKA built the fucking enterprise, complete with see-through pipes...

52.I wish this Chris Pine prick would stop smirking...

53.We find out Checkov is 17....I guess there's no age restrictions in the future about joining the Navy...or is this just another convenient excuse to have Checkov on board the Enterprise when Kirk is a young asshole.

54.The transporter beam makes a sound effect like plastic wrap, and reminds me of the one in GALAXY QUEST...

55.The action scenes in this movie simply are 'unfollowable' if that is even a word, and if this piece of shit movie can make up science that makes no sense, I can make up cheap and ridiculous words too...

56.Phasers now operate like the Guns in STARGATE, with the same sound effect from STARGATE, and are also now semi-automatic weapons!

57.I now am beginning to grasp the plot of this movie, and all the phony science, one needs to go back and watch the remake of LOST IN SPACE! It all makes sense now, its all the same thing! Rifts in the spacetime, black holes, retarded sex jokes, future selves, and dammit it all makes sense now...or not....

58.This is science fiction at its worst...red blob+space drill=black hole. WHat is red blob? They don't tell us. Space Drill doesn't look like a drill, it looks like a thing on a chain, imagine Sauron's mace dangling...how do these two things work together to turn a planet into a black hole? Don't tell us. There is no answere here. We're just supposed to forget all this 'logic' and move on with Captain Prick and this very bad story.

59.More lens flares....

60.So back when Kirk melded with Spock, Spock told him not to tell the other Spock about time travel or that Spock was hanging around, and that there's two Spocks now...at the end of the movie, Spock Meets Spock...and one asks the logical question, why not just beam up with Kirk and Scotty, he could have saved Spock all the trouble of humilating himself and fighting with Kirk, and trying to figure out what to do...and Spock replies: Because you needed eachother...and I respond, (BECAUSE THERE WOULD BE NO FUCKING MOVIE YOU STUPID ASSHOLE, and that is the straight answer).

61. Seriously, this is one of those movies destined for Mystery Science Theater...I am not kidding...

62.In the end Spock tells Spock, "Put aside your logic" and do what turns you on baby... well...isn't this a convenient pysche, put aside your logic and you might as well fawn over this rather stupid movie like the American public has, keep your logic, and hate the shitout of it. Fuck you Spock, I'll keep my logic, and this movie can kiss my ass.

63.Honestly, I couldn't wait for this movie to end, it was beginning to give me a "Cloverfield" shaky cam headache, and the red and blue lens flare effects were beginning to split my skull open.

64.What the hell was this movie supposed to be about? It was one big fucking blur, with music that was not only unmemorable, but loud and obnoxiously overdramatic. With all the sex jokes and stupid 'star trek reference' humor, just why the hell am I supposed to take anything that is happening seriously while its happening? Every time somebody is getting serious I want to laugh, and every time somebody is supposed to be 'funny' it is just irritating.

65.Forget Star Trek, who cares what the fuck this was supposed to be, Kirk, Spock, whatever, it was too fast, too nonsensical to even make me care about anything that was moving around on screen. Remake? Sequel? Prequel? Who cares what the hell this is, its very bad filmmaking, very bad expensive filmmaking, give me a nice steady shot of Heyden Christiansen and Natalie Portman's bad acting any day. This was shit of the highest quality.

66.Pine? Fuck him, I couldn't have cared less if the stupid fucker "Kirk" that he was supposed to be playing died, I didn't care, I didn't like the guy, and who could?

67.McCoy? He's a good actor, he tried, but why did they have to keep beating us over the head with repeating lines from old shows? Yeah, we get it, THIS IS STAR TREK, AND YOU'RE MCCOY!

68.Scottie. Alright, a new guy a new Scotty, a bit overly sarcastic, but at least his scottish
accent sounded genuine...

69.Anton Yelchin...gets more lines than McCoy...yes, go back and watch again, all that nonsense jibberish he's speaking in his ridiculous over-the-top fake russian accent was definitely more words than that actor probably wanted to memorize.

70.Uhura. Sex object, sex jokes, and nothing but Spock's submissive love toy. The future sure is progressive...the original Uhura had attitude.

71.Spock. Not Spock. Some sort of upper-crust accent, made him sound like some college preppy prick, and too many emotions, I guess they wrote the entire story around how bad of an actor this guy was and after they found out he couldn't play a Vulcan, but sure looks like Spock, they opted to give
him emotions...

72.Old Spock. Damn that guy's old now...and his appearance truly was pointless, only to show up to give the movie's non-plot an exposition on the plot before the plot. You see, its like saying okay, this movie is about events that are happening because of something, but we're too lazy to SHOW you what that is, so we'll import this one actor to explain it all to you really quick so we can get on with more mindless action.

73.SULU. Eh, Korean, fine, I really wasn't even thinking about how well any of these people were playing the original characters, none of these 'characters' were remotely the original characters at least in this non-story. We are just told over and over that these are those guys, by hitting us over the head over and over, see: Sulu's got a sword, that's Sulu! See Checkov's got an accent:That's Checkov! McCoy's got a little space-syringe thing, that's McCoy! Spock said "logic" and "illogical" THAT'S SPOCK! Scotty's got an accent:That's SCOTTY!

74.The contrived plot between Spock and Kirk was actually even more forgettable than the idiotic 'science fiction' plot devices of time travel and space drills. Did I care? No. I hated both these people in this movie, I wished they would kill eachother so Checkov could take over the ship and go boldy where no one has gone before. So these two pricks, Spock and Kirk hate eachother, and then learn to be friends...yeah, and why the fuck do we need space drills and romulan skinheads to illustrate all this? Oh, because this has to be an action-star trek movie with lots of shit going on, when really NOTHING IS GOING ON IN THIS MOVIE.

75. It is the end result of this movie that pisses me off, this ain't Star Trek, I wanted to see a Star Trek movie, that's the damn title, and what I got was the "Lost in Space" remake, with the Robinson family replaced by these kids who they call "kirk" "Spock" "Uhura" "Sulu" etc. They've barrowed the same mindless and useless nonsense about time travel and spacetime as "Lost in Space" and then cut up the action to make it so fast paced there's no point in watching it, it doesn't take you anywhere and it isn't entertaining because you're trying to figure out why the fuck what is going on onscreen is even going on.

76.At this point who cares if Chris Pine didn't play Captain Kirk, the reality is, this movie sucked bad enough without him being a dick. I'd have guessed it would be entirely his fault, and though much of it is more the new character he's playing is, he didn't write the script, his lines, nor the dumbass plot. SO who cares.

77.The guy who played Spock could easily be replaced, and pretty much everybody in the cast could be replaced in any sequel of this same shite. Its true. I couldn't have cared less when this thing was over about the actors or the characters. You can't make me love characters that aren't even there, they're just filling in for characters we're already familiar with, and adding absolutely nothing. The terrible script has presented us with these new pricks, but because of this half-assed story, they could be played by anybody. I'd give Doctor McCoy the best marks of being entertaining, and the best of all of them, and I'd love to see an entire movie about Doctor McCoy, but what's the point? If they replaced Kirk, or Spock, or anybody else, it wouldn't matter in the slightest for any sequel of this new bad tasting franchise.

78.This crapfest was indeed a waste of time and money, both my time and money, and the time of the people who made it and the money spent making it. It added nothing, it presented nothing new, it doesn't seem to be anything worthwhile to watch again, or even take note of. It is on the level of "Lost in Space," "Godzilla" starring Matthew Brodderick, and "Planet of the Apes." Why the hell people gave this movie good reviews is beyond me, it is the same level of B-Movie badness that is that other crap. The only thing new about 'Star Trek XI' is the endless lighting-gone-wrong flare effects, and moving cameras.

79.There is no depth to this turd. It is missing charm. The characters are not fun, they're irritating (Spock
and Kirk), and Scotty, Checkov and McCoy may have had a little charm but nothing of quite the same level as the original...thus, not only does this fail to measure up, it fails to offer something new or even different, of any equivalence of charm or entertainment.) I keep saying who cares, also because I believe they could have rebooted Star Trek without all the nonsense. I'd still say get rid of this Chris Pine jackass who makes Heyden Christiansen seem worth watching...even though he is a brooding whiney turd, at least he wasn't a complete and utter asshole. There's no 'Star Trek' in this star trek. They got the right color shirts, an enterprise that looks pretty much the same, they got phasers, and these people by the name of Kirk, Spock, McCoy, etc, but they failed to see GENE RODDENBERRY's Star Trek at all. A "science fiction" western...in space... which dealt with moral, ethical, social, psychological issues, and also even implications of technology, as all real science fiction does. This was nothing but mindless space opera, if that. It was basically irritation in space. Characters I can neither identify with, nor like, nor care about. The best character in the ENTIRE movie was the arabic starfleet captain at the beginning. That's it. All the other characters were a fucking waste.

80.Somebody needs to tell J.J.Abrams to stop with the goddamn shaky cams, and as far as I'm concerned, J.J., we're done professionally. I will not waste a single second of my life ever watching your shit again, ever.

81.I'd like to go off on the similarities to Star Wars in this film, and offer up how this Star Trek fails even in originality, but it isn't worth it, because though all these Star Wars type things happen, they're so ridiculously stylized with lens-flares and blurry shaky camera shots, that you can't even compare them after that, and I was going to bring up Star Wars to be negative. Likening Star Trek to Star Wars is a bad thing, because they couldn't be more different, and when you start trying to make Star Trek more like Star Wars, not only are you 20 years too late, its just a bad move. So when you finally do, but try to disguise it with really annoying stylized CGI effects, its even worse.

82.Space battle...capture...farm boy...cantina troubles...advice from an elder...off to space...the planet's been
completely blown away kid...sword fight...ice planet...abominable snowman...wise old man gives advice...han and chewie argue while fixing ship...bang some tools around...fight on some sort of platforms... bridges...ledges...bang... exploding space station...

83.I couldn't find "Red Matter" on wikipedia...maybe its some sort of subtext about communism..

84.Why Winona Ryder? Anybody could have been cast in that part...who cares...

85.Okay, so you're going to change everything to make it all 'more realistic and credible' so what the fuck is
with the miniskirt?

86.Insert profanity. Scotty sez "bullshit." Ehehehehehehehhe. This is filmmaking with Beavis and Butthead in mind,
most of the gags, jokes, 'humor' and references are all for an audience with the intelligence and maturity of
Beavis and Butthead.

87.If you want maturity...go see Terminator Salvation, you will not find it in Star Trek. One thing that appealed
about Star Trek was its maturity originally...yes it had its share cheesyness...campyness...but when you get to
the later films, the themes were intellectual...the themes in this Star Trek? Look our Star Trek crew once were
a bunch of idiots like we all are now these days...isn't that funny?

88.I guess the trite and rather shallow message of this movie was something to the effect of 'you know you can be friends with that dickhead that really annoys you if you want to, you just have to put logic aside.'

89.The villain. A forgettable, useless, non-character that could have been played by anybody, added nothing, meant nothing, totally unfrightening, neither likeable nor unlikeable, boring, and uninteresting. So he's "Romulan." Okay, so there's all this shit that happened and that's why he's pissed off, and yeah whatever. Your basic 'revenge' motivation, like we've never seen that before in Star Trek or anything else, and why did this need to be made into a movie? There were pretty much 4 or 5 other henchman, or something, they all died, they all did nothing significant, said nothing interesting, and neither did Nero. He shook his stick, screamed and shouted, and looked like some sort of dumbass space-skinhead, which means he's 'evil' I guess. Why is this cool?

90.The Enterprise. Well, aside from looking like everything is made out of plastic, and from some sort of Apple
computer factory, there were a lot of pipes and scaffolding, and nothing which made any of it interesting, or even look like the inside of a spaceship. Kids like the inside of spaceships...they like to imagine being on the Enterprise or the Death Star, or the Millennium Falcon...this looked like they were piloting the inside of some building that seemed to look like the inside of some factory or research and development center...it didn't look like they were in a spaceship. If there weren't numbers and stripes on the wall, who would have guessed, without the exterior and blurry shaky shots of the USS Enterprise that this is what they were supposed to be. I imagine that there were little cubicles just around the corner, or maybe some sort of shopping mall on the lower level...there was no sense of 'here is our Spaceship, full of people working, in space, in the future, inside this SHIP.'

91.Master Chief HALO Suits...wouldn't they burn up in the atmosphere? Maybe I missed something in one of those blurry action scenes...this was obviously just written in, with the "teleporter jamming device" just so they could have these characters fight in space suits, there was absolutely no other reason for this scene at all.

92.I would like to have seen what the hell KIRK did at the ACADEMY, and how he and BONES became friends...because its like they show us...here's Kirk, on his way to the Academy...then BAM, THREE YEARS LATER...he's being shipped off to the Enterprise... wtf? I always assumed that Kirk and Spock knew eachother and became friends while attending the Academy...oh well, this really wasn't Kirk and Spock anyways...

93.J.J.Abrams needs to go back and learn what a 'character' is. It isn't A.) a stereotype. B.) a caricature C.)
a guy with a name who says some shit, and you're supposed to laugh. D.) a personality

94.He might like to attend a photography class, where you learn that lens flares occur with certain lenses and
are usually due to the sun, and other certain TYPES of bright lights. They do not occur with LED(light emitting
diodes) in the presence of other brightly lit environments, usually they do not occur from little red or blue lights, not even flourescent lights. Lighting effects (which were manufactured for this crappy film) that we see in Star Trek are also almost a completely made-up artifact of nothing, which is a crude and irritating attempt to make it 'look more realistic.' Certain lighting effects from action-camera protective covers, as used in Die Hard and Lethal Weapon films can give off a certain glare, for instance when car headlights go by, or gun flashes, and explosions, but these are unintentional optical artifacts. They do not even occur from the camera lens itself, but are picked up as reflections from the plastic protective cover in front of the camera.

95. Hey J.J. Abrams...ever heard of a fucking tripod?

96. Hey J.J. Abrams...ever heard of a fucking writer?

97. Hey J.J. Abrams...ever seen a single episode of fucking Star Trek?

98. Hey J.J. Abrams...stop with the goddamn color correction...you over-did it...

99. Hey J.J. Abrams...we get it...we get all the heavily marketed towards idiot consumer teenagers who
play on their cellphones way too much...this was a manufactured piece of shit designed to overstimulate
the senses so you don't even question what the fuck is even going on so long as there is a sex joke or
an explosion every few seconds...I have one thing to say about this: FUCK YOU.

100.I am starting to have a little sympathy for George Lucas...and a slight appreciation for at least the
shots are fairly well composed, the action is linear, and we can see what is happening on screen in the Prequel Trilogy

This does not bode well.

This Star Trek wasn't the Phantom Menace, I can WATCH the Phantom Menace clearly without getting a headache so long as I ignore the stupid plot and Jar Jar Binks...it is worse than the Phantom Menace in my estimation, for I have a hard time watching this crud, Phantom Menace, as much of a perversion of Star Wars as it is, still has a few small moments, good for a youtube video, but watchable nonetheless. This entire movie, from start to finish is unwatchable hell. Crap. Shit. Nonsense. Idiocy. Stupidity. Crass foolishness. I refuse to even give it a single star, or any reasonable rating. IT SUCKED. Harlan Ellison be praised. Nuff Said.